Harry Gonner and the Half-Nerd Prince - #1

This is the official launching of my new series of the above title. To better understand the humour in it, you should have at least watched any of the original Harry Potter movies or read any of the books, preferably The Half Blood Prince. Enjoy.

It was a dark and stormy night, only because too many people like to start off a story that way. Harry Gonner sat by the window of his cramped-up room, waiting in anticipation. His pet owl, Hedbig, had already fallen asleep at the corner, which is illogical considering that owls are nocturnal creatures. Taking another sip of his Mocha Frappucino™ that he magically conjured himself, Harry scanned the horizon once more.

Due to lack of space in his room, his smaller possessions were placed on the ceiling using magic. The fact is that Harry is gotten so lazy, his dependancy on magic to do things have very much increased. While the usage of magic is forbidden outside the magical realm, Harry has managed to elude expulsion by simply bribing the Ministry of Magic. Thanks to his dead father's immense fortune, he can perform magic anytime anywhere anyplace. He has bribed the ministry so much, his name appears in every annual budget report, which he receives regularly.

A car arrived and stopped right at the front door. Harry's headmaster had finally come to take him away from the dump in which he lived. Without moving an inch of his butt, he waved his wand saying 'Pack my things'; everything in the room started floated into a luggage and arranged themselves. Harry had decided that muttering gibberish to cast magic is lame, hence he gives direct orders to his wand to do his bidding.

Downstairs, Uncle Vermin answered the door, furious because it was the middle of the night. Professor Dumbndumber stood at the doorstep, clad in a full black suit complete with a black tie. He was trying to impersonate a government official but his huge thick beard was a dead giveaway.

Dumbndumber: Good evening, Mr. Wursley. I am here to pick up Mr. Harry Gonner.

Uncle Vermin : Who are you?

Dumbndumber: I am er.. (looks at cue card ready in his palm) Jack Johnson from the erm... (looks again) gov-err-ment.

*Wizards have never heard of the word 'government' before. Dumbndumber picked up a muggle dictionary.

Uncle Vermin : And what kind of business did that boy got himself mixed up with??

Dumbndumber: He is now under the custody of the gov-err-ment in the process of transferring him to a legit foster family. I hope you have no objections..

Uncle Vermin : Well no, none at all! Please, take him away! He scares the family with his magic and made slaves out of us!

Dumbndumber: Is that so? Well now, you no longer have to put up with him. Ah, there he is now.

Harry trodded down the stairs with his luggage dutifully floating behind. He stepped out, joining Dumbndumber as Aunt Petunier and Dudbag peeped timidly from the kitchen. Uncle Vermin closed the door before anyone could utter another word.

Dumbndumber: Come now, step into my kick-ass car.

To be continued..

View next episode
Another piece of Justin Wong's mind at 9/13/2005 11:06:00 PM