I recently had the opportunity to apply for a job to write articles for The Sun Newspaper's future campus-themed pullout. My application required a 400-word essay describing my most boring lecture as creatively as I can. Here goes nothing...
Regardless of meaning, silence and darkness are one. An endless abyss envelops this world immeasurable by space and time. Nothingness became the very essence of what seems to be existence. No room for emotion, cognition, or anything for that can take form, not even abstract. A void spark ignites, turning into something that can only be described as a split second. Out of nowhere, without warning, a form of perception arises. Is it I. I have found myself. Time starts to flow as I collect the pieces of what I assume amount to my consciousness. For every piece I embrace, the next one avails itself more willingly as the flow of time picks up the pace. The unfathomable shroud that once invaded my mind gradually clears, releasing my senses from its deathly grip. I realize now that I am a living being: a thinking and breathing organism.
It is the sense of touch, among the others, that establishes contact to my brain first. It occurs to me at this point that my entire body is relaxed. I feel my first breath of air through the shafts of my nostrils, without me having to will it deliberately. It is refreshing and empowering; I can feel my entire body already. Even the functioning level of my mind accelerates toward its normal rate. My thoughts begin to arrange themselves, in proper order and logic. Then,my memories return, bit by bit, depth by depth. I remember my name now, though it is not significant at this time. Now that I am aware of myself, I must proceed to be aware of my surroundings.
I can finally muster enough strength to lift my head that tilts backward. I take in another breath of air with my mouth, feeling my shoulders and chest rise as it happens. As I open my eyes, I instinctively set myself upright. This is when I notice that I am sitting on a chair. By the time I manage to sit up, my eyes begin to adjust to the bright light. Though it was passive all the while, it is only now that I could hear somebody talking. I recognize the voice, though I still could not identify it. I looked around to find myself in a lecture hall at my college. The person talking is the calculus professor, mumbling about things that I can never understand.